One-Way and Two-Way Doors

Why does great advice sometimes seem to conflict?

A reader recently asked me, "what do you do when you get writer's block?"

Now I actually have never gotten writer's block before (where I run out of ideas and get stuck). But since that makes for a pretty boring answer, I told her how I often get the opposite of writer's block: so many ideas that it's sometimes hard to know which direction to go!

She then asked how I navigate having so many different ideas and potential directions. In my answer I made a new connection that I think applies across all areas of our lives, not just creative endeavors.

A while back I watched an interview with Jeff Bezos where he discussed his concept of two-way and one-way doors.

(I'll summarize it below, but here's a link in case you want to watch the full clip:)

Each door describes a type of decision.

A two-way door is one that you can walk through, look around, and easily walk back to where you originally entered from and pick a different door. A reversible decision.

But a one-way door describes a decision that is difficult to go back from (maybe even impossible) and any attempt to do so will be costly in either time, resources, or both. An irreversible decision.

The key here is to have a different process for each type of decision rather than a one-size-fits-all approach.

And I think that's why so much great advice seems conflicting at first glance.

Phrases like "start before you're ready" and "build the plane as you fly it" resonate with us because they're true. But so do sayings like "look before you leap" and "don't rush what you want to last forever."

That's because the first set applies to two-way door decisions – ones where getting started and experimenting is key to success. Meanwhile the second set is about one-way doors – decisions that are harder to go back from.

And that's why it's important to develop the ability to discern the difference, whether you be writing a book, running a business, developing a relationship, learning a new skill, etc.

The more I write, the more I understand which parts of the process are two-way doors and which are one-way doors.

Names, descriptions, and dialogue are all extremely important, but they're also easily changed in later drafts.

For example, while writing Welcome to the Lands of Luxury I changed the name of the Aromadove about seven times. Each time I could easily run a find-and-replace in my writing software to try out the new name as I edited the next draft of my story.

But other parts of the writing process are one-way doors and aren't easy to shift around, like character arcs, themes, and the overarching plot. These things are delicately interconnected and changing them would involve reworking and rewriting large portions of the manuscript (believe me, I know 😅).

This is why I now take my time to consider the consequences of each character's story arc and how it relates to the other characters and the book's overall theme. For a novel, these are all one-way doors that require careful planning.

So yes, I've wasted time in both ways: taking too long on two-way doors but also rushing one-way doors, forcing myself to start over.

But that's part of living life. Even if we hear the most amazing and true advice, it's difficult to apply it until we've had our own experiences to help us understand how to apply it.

That's why you should never feel ashamed of the mistakes you make. Sometimes we treat one-way doors like two-way ones and vice versa. And that's okay – as long as we're choosing to learn and grow from those experiences.

What's a door you've gone through recently? Was it a one-way door or a two-way door, and what did you learn from the experience?